Turkey Call
by Red Rum1
Summary: [AU] Can anyone imagine a GW gang stuck in the middle of rural nowhere? I can... (Callisto Nicol's birthday present, but it wasn't much of a present, considering she beta'ed it... but she likes tearing things apart...)


Turkey Call

****

Red Rum

A/N: AU (alternate universe), which naturally gives me many liberties. Don't let the notes bother you, you can look at my comments later.

Alternate Category: Songfic? *snickers*

Eh, let's get this straight. Wufei's an adopted kid, adopted by Relena's parents. *nods* This story is written in Wufei's POV.

I'm not entirely sure whether tunes can actually be played on turkey calls…

Oven-warmed cookies and iced tea. 

The sun glares at us from high in the sky; it's burning outside. There is no wind to speak of either. Relena slides the screen door open so I can carry the tray out and goes back to pick up the pitcher. Hating my parents' DNA, I retie my stringy black hair, which is already starting to stick to my head.

I set the tray on the table. "So tell me… why did you heat up the cookies?" 

"I like warm cookies." 

"You could have just brought them out here. Actually, we could have brought some cookie dough out and baked cookies." She sighs after a moment and presses her forehead against the pitcher. I walk inside to get cups, which she forgot.

The phone rings, and Relena yells something. "Pick it up! I bet it's Heero, saying he won't be here." She grumbles and her head slumps back to the table. I unhook the telephone and state the usual.

"Peacecraft residence. Wufei speaking."

"This is Heero." I clear my throat and yell to Relena. 

"I told you! What's his excuse this time?" 

I speak into the phone. "What is it?" 

"I called to let Relena know that I'm still coming, and that I'm bringing some friends of mine along with me, my cousin Duo and his friend. Can't remember his name though. It's something weird, but he doesn't talk much, so he won't get in the way. Tell her all that, alright?"

I tell him I'll relate the message and Relena stalks inside, forcing the door shut behind her, like she's going to pull it off the rollers. I hang up the phone.

"He says he's going to bring his cousin and his friend over." 

She stares at me. "Is that all? Well, looks like my no-good boyfriend is shaping up." She chuckles and walks back to the deck.

"Looks that way, doesn't it?" I follow her.

Heero is not a very responsible person. He's unreliable and he's never on time. I note that as I watch Heero climb our driveway fifteen minutes after the call, when according to Relena, it only takes him three to get here. He carries a large cardboard box with fishing poles sticking out, but other contents unknown. I suppose one could assume. Relena rushes barefoot down the stairs to meet him, even with our gravel driveway. I watch from the deck.

I observe as Heero hands the box over to one of the guys behind him and embraces my over enthusiastic sister. He looks up and waves slightly. I nod back. I can't tell which one is his friend and which one is his cousin, but one's got long, brown hair in a braid, and the other one's got brown hair that falls unnaturally over one eye.

Once on the deck, Heero introduces Duo, the one with the braid, looking shy, then

gestures to the other guy holding the box, Trowa, who manages a quiet 'pleased to meet you'. Trowa. A pretty unusual name, I suppose. He sets the box on the table gently, and Heero pulls out the fishing poles and a bait box.

"You're going fishing?!" Relena looks disappointed.

"You wanna come with us?" Heero asks, but it's just to be polite.

"Do I ever?" He shrugs and turns to me. "Gonna come with us?" I shrug and pick up some gear, following them down the stairs. I'm certain Relena is very displeased, but it's not my concern.

"Boy, Heero, you lucky devil! Your girlfriend's hot!" Duo pipes up as we walk down the hill to the lake. Heero snickers. I snort. 

"Well, it's true! You've got a pretty sister, Wu- uh… Wufei." He says it with awkward exaggeration, and his southern accent just makes it worse. "Anyway, you two don't look anything alike… no resemblance at all…"

"Good. Because we're not related." Heero gives Duo a hard nudge and he stumbles. Trowa catches him before he falls and rolls down the hill. 

"We don't look like we'd be related, do we Duo?" Heero says. Duo shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets. 

"Don't worry about it." I shrug it off and he grins at me. We get to the lake and Trowa sets the bait box on the ground. Duo and I follow suit while Heero distributes fishing rods. Duo looks unhappy.

"No live bait? Gosh, Heero, we'll never catch anything! Why don't we dig up some worms?"

Heero shrugs. "If you want to… but I'd like to get started."

"No rush, man. Come on, like fishing's a real active sport." Duo settles down against a rock and baits his hook. We pick our spots close to each other, along the edge of the lake.

I prepare to sit in silence for a long time, but Duo has other ideas. He interrupts my would-be reveries every few seconds, seemingly.

"I wonder how long it'll take for the fishes to catch on… They're pretty dumb, right? What kind of fish are in here, do you know?" Blah, blah, blah.

"And to think I was under the impression that you were quiet," I say.

Trowa laughs. "I thought that too. It lasted less than three seconds."

"Aww, come on… It's just that I'm shy around people I don't know. Then I get to know them." Duo comes close to blushing.

Heero looks rather amused. "I'd never use the word shy to describe you."

"It's true!" Duo protests, "I don't feel comfortable around people I don't know well!"[1]

There is a considerable pause. "I would have never guessed." Duo glances at me, then slouches back into a comfortable position.

A period of time later, Duo starts humming an obscure tune under his breath. I recognize it when he adds the words a moment later. 

__

From the halls of Montezuma, to the shores of Tripoli,   
We fight our country's battles in the air, on land and sea.   
First to fight for right and freedom, and to keep our honor clean;   
We are proud to claim the title of United States Marine.

Our flag's unfurled to every breeze from dawn to setting sun.   
We have fought in every clime and place, where we could take a gun.   
In the snow of far off northern lands and in sunny tropic scenes,   
You will find us always on the job, The United States Marines.

Here's health to you and to our Corps which we are proud to serve.   
In many a strife we've fought for life and never lost our nerve.   
If the Army and the Navy ever look on heaven's scenes,   
they will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines. [2]

I notice that when he sings, his voice loses its somewhat-signature southern twang. But then, British singers don't sound British when they sing, do they?

"Shut up, Marine boy!" growls Trowa. Duo laughs and sings louder. Heero pulls a little device out of his pocket, which on second glance reveals itself to be a bird call. Turkey, specifically, and talented Heero plays along.

"Duo, you're going to scare the fish away. Stop singing," I say.

He protests. "What? Just showing some Marine pride! There's nothing wrong with that! Come on! What's wrong with a little pride?!"

"There's a lot wrong with too much pride," I say. [3]

"Now if only I knew the words to the Army song…" says Trowa thoughtfully. Heero responds by switching his melody to that of the Caisson Song.

I sigh.

We didn't catch any fish. Surprise, surprise. The only things in that lake are small rainbow trout and garbage. Relena and the rest of my family hate it, but I love trout [4].

Heero, Duo, and Trowa settle down in front of the television that Relena had left on. She walks in bearing cans of soda and passes them out. I take a can of Mountain Dew™ and wander out to the porch.

There I find Mom hanging laundry up to dry on the clothesline. I open my can of soda and offer to help before she can ask me to. I set my drink on the table. 

We pin clothing in companionable silence for a while until we hear a knock on the door. Figuring that Relena won't hear it from inside, I shout for whoever is knocking to come around back. Quatre's head comes into view and in his arms are paper bags filled with groceries. I know him from school; he works as a grocery boy in his freetime. My mom's quite fond of him, because he's sweet mannered and polite. I don't blame her, but sometimes I think it has to be an act. A very convincing one. 

I'll say he's a nice guy and leave it at that.

I run down the stairs to help him. I have no idea why I'm being so helpful all of the sudden. At any rate, we get up the stairs, my mother greets him, and we're all good. My mom slides the door open for us, and we walk in to put the food items in their respective storage areas. The others don't notice, too absorbed in the television program.

"Want something to drink?" I ask quietly when we're almost done. He nods while I stick the last can of olives [5] in the pantry. I tell him to help himself to anything in the fridge. 

When I walk out of the pantry, I notice that he has poured himself a glass of tea (I suppose Mom or Relena brought it inside) then realize the mistake I made just a moment too late. He spits the offensive drink back into the cup.

"Uh… Sorry? You just drank some of Relena's tea. Probably more sugar than you'll find in an Equal™ factory in that." I apologize. That stuff is inhumanly sweet. [6]

"You won't find any sugar in an Equal™ factory. You'd have better luck in a Splenda™ [7] factory." Trowa has mysteriously popped up behind us.

Quatre's face relaxes out of its grimace. I take the glass and pour its contents into the sink and Trowa mentions that there's something on television that I might find amusing. I follow behind Trowa and gesture to Quatre that he can come. He follows a step behind. 

"Who's the blonde?" asks Trowa, voice quiet as always.

"You mean Quatre?"

"I suppose. And here I thought _I_ had an unusual name… I wonder how you spell that?"

The sofa is already full so I take a place next to Trowa on the floor. I hadn't even looked at the screen when I heard Quatre trying to stifle laughter. Duo was rolling around, having fallen off the sofa in hysterics, so I stood up and took his seat, next to Heero.

The power cut off. I still hadn't seen the screen, and nobody volunteers to tell me what was so entertaining. How unfair.

We decided to amuse ourselves by another method, which Relena always refuses to participate in. Turkey hunting. Never mind that in all my time in rural nowhere I had never so much as picked up a gun. Quatre looks a little uneasy, but other than us, everyone was fairly experienced. Watch someone end up getting shot. Just watch.

Trowa shrugs. "As long as we take the necessary safety precautions, we'll be fine. Don't worry."

After retrieving guns from Heero's house, we immerse ourselves in the woods of the Peacecraft property. I always thought hunting included camouflage, but apparently it's not necessary for turkey hunting. We don't even have to wear blaze orange. 

We split in to two groups, Heero, Duo, and me in one, and Trowa and Quatre in the other. Heero figured we wouldn't get anything, it not being the season, but apparently Duo didn't care. I adjust my sling strap.

We had decided on meeting up next to the lone tree on the west side of the land. We hadn't found a single good lead, and it was almost 6:00, the agreed upon time. The sky was actually turning dark, sun pink against the clouds. If I were the sentimental type, I'd say it was pretty.

I'm not. 

We slowly made our way to the tree. Duo was disappointed, but I was just bored. Then I saw movement from far away, at the edge of the trees. Duo raised his gun, loaded, target nearly locked. Heero told Duo to back off.

"Aww, I was just playing." He stops to take the ammunition out, but before he can, I trip over a root in the ground. This sends me crashing into Duo, who accidentally yanks the trigger.

We hear a scream. Heero curses.

We drop our weapons and run to the sound as fast as we can. That's when we realize exactly what we've hit. 

"Crap… we should have worn blaze orange or bike reflectors…or something…" Quatre's speech is interrupted by dry, hacking coughs. I can't seem to pry my gaze from his wound. If it hadn't been for that volunteer work at the blood drive, I don't think I'd have seen more blood anywhere else.

Heero pulls out his turkey call and plays the funeral song. Trowa punches him in the gut.

[1] A Callisto reference. I couldn't resist. Happy Birthday.

[2] A Ruka reference. She made me hate that song. And Calli, no, I'm not trying to add extra words…

[3] A Heather reference. Burn school spirit! Plus as Calli mentioned, it's pretty ironic that Wufei would say that…

[4] Self reference! Haha! Trout!

[5] An Ashley reference. Thanks a bunch!

[6] Reference to Josh and seven packs of sugar in already sweetened tea.

[7] A reference to my imp! Piggy-kun doesn't hype up on sugar, it's gotta be Splenda™ for him. And in case you don't know, Splenda™ is an artificial sugar substitute.

Sorry if you didn't get a reference, although it looks as if I included a good amount of people and chances are that you weren't left out.


End file.
